IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health poblems. Sugary products should be made more expense to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATE THE PROPORTION OF
THE
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PEOPLE IN THE UK WHO HAVE BEEN CONSUMING THE RECOMMENDED DAILY AMOUNT OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES FROM 2002 TO 2010.
OVERALL
Linking Words
, IT IS SHOWN THAT THE MAJORITY OF WHO CONSUMED THE DAILY RECOMMENDED AMOUNT ARE FEMALES, AND THE MINORITY ARE
CHILDREN
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.
ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 THE CHART IN 2002 ONLY 11% OF
CHILDREN
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WHO
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MANAGED TO TAKE THEIR DAILY AMOUNT OF FRUIT AND
VEGETABELS
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VEGETABLES
, MALES AT 22% MEANWHILE,
WOMEN
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 AT THE HIGHEST WITH 25%, IN 2006 THE PERCENTAGE OF KIDS EATING THEIR DAILY FRUIT AND VEGETABLES INCREASED WITH 4
PERSENT
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PER CENT
PRESENT
, ON THE HAND, MEN REACHED
AT
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28% FURTERMORE
WOMEN
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REMAIMED
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REMAINED
 THE HIGHEST WITH 32%. IN THE
LAST
Linking Words
 YEAR SHOWN IN THE CHART 2010 THERE WAS A SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN ALL
WOMEN
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, MEN, AND
CHILDREN
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, WITH
WOMEN
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 GOING DOWN FROM 32% TO 27%, MEN FROM 28% TO 24% AND
LASTLY
Linking Words
CHILDREN
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 FROM 16% TO 14%.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to write in complete sentences with proper punctuation. This will help your ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Add an introduction and conclusion to give your essay a clear structure. This will help the reader understand your main points.
task achievement
Check your spelling and grammar for words like 'vegetables' and 'remain.' Correct spelling helps improve clarity.
task achievement
You clearly identified the main trends in the data, which is important for answering the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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