In some countries, people who do physically demanding jobs are paid as much as those in positions requiring high qualifications. Is it a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays,
emplyees
Correct your spelling
employees
who work in jobs with physical high risk have the same salary as the ones who are in higher positions.
This
Linking Words
essay will address whether it is a positive or a negative thing. One possible reason
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why it might be a positive thing is to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
education to get better chances in life.
For example
Linking Words
, all
harvard
Change the capitalization
Harvard
show examples
gradutes
Correct your spelling
graduates
graduate
high level
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
which explains why they are in well-known
compnies
Correct your spelling
companies
with
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
positions because those place requires
high standard
Add a hyphen
high-standard
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
As for why
Change preposition
Why
show examples
it would be a negative thing because
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who work in
high risk
Add a hyphen
high-risk
show examples
jobs are
unfortunatelly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
from poor countries. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, china's
manufacteries
Correct your spelling
manufactories
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those
manufacteries
Correct your spelling
manufactories
manufacturers
have
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
and old
people
Use synonyms
working more than 8 hours a day to be able to meet the exceptions. In conclusion, equality in pay can motivate workers in low-paying jobs, leading to better job performance and satisfaction.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to have a clear introduction that outlines the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas, which will help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will make your arguments stronger.
content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument.
content
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the ideas you presented in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physically demanding
  • paid
  • positions
  • high qualifications
  • positive
  • negative
  • trend
  • motivate
  • perform
  • satisfaction
  • valued
  • create
  • dissatisfaction
  • reduce
  • gap
  • respect
  • change
  • discourage
  • pursuing
  • education
  • rewards
  • similar
What to do next:
Look at other essays: