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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featurews and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featurews and make comparisons where relevant.
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of
Use synonyms
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 which were consumed daily by three types of population, men,
women
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 and children in the UK between 2002 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, all citizens who
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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fruit
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 and
vegetables
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 increased over the period.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
women
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 had a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
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 in
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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, they still had the highest consumption through the timeframe. With regards to the first type of
UK's
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UK
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populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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, men's
fruit
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 and
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vegetables
Change the noun form
vegetable
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 consumption began
with
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at
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 22%. After increasing slowly to 28% in 2006, it had a drop to 24%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeline. Moving on
the
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to the
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 remaining
citizens'
Change noun form
citizens
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 types, both
women
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 and children started with exactly 25% and 11% consumed respectively. As for
women
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's
fruit
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 and
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vegetables
Change the noun form
vegetable
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consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
, it can be seen a significant rise and reached its peak
with
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at
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 32%
at
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in
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 the middle of
period
Add an article
the period
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,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped to 27% in 2010. Meanwhile, the proportion of children who consumed
fruit
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 and
vegetables
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 had a rise from 11% to 16% in 2006, before decreasing slightly to 14% in 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fruit, vegetables, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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