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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show the propotions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the propotions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart represents the percentage of people visiting
Ireland
Use synonyms
 based on their
age
Use synonyms
 group, gender and the reason for their visit
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of visitors were in the
age
Use synonyms
 groups of " 25 - 34
years
Use synonyms
" and " 45 - 54
years
Use synonyms
 ", and were males.
Moreover
Linking Words
, irrespective of gender, a large percentage of tourists came to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 for leisure reasons
last
Linking Words
 year . The highest proportion of people coming to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 were the same in the
age
Use synonyms
 groups of " 25 - 34
years
Use synonyms
" and " 45 - 54
years
Use synonyms
" with both being 23 %.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by the
age
Use synonyms
 group of " 35 - 44
years
Use synonyms
" being the second highest to visit
Ireland
Use synonyms
 with 19%. The groups of " 55 - 64
years
Use synonyms
 ", " 64
years
Use synonyms
 and over" and " 16 - 24
years
Use synonyms
" were around 10 %. The lowest was the
age
Use synonyms
 group of " 0 - 6
years
Use synonyms
" to be part of the family to travel around
Ireland
Use synonyms
. The largest percentage of the visitors coming to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 were for leisure activities with 43 % males and 40 % females, respectively. The proportion of female travellers visiting
Ireland
Use synonyms
 to attend to business-related matters was low compared to male travellers, with 4% and 13 % respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ireland, age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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