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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The line graph illustrates the total quantity of
books
Use synonyms
 rented out by four different libraries from June to September 2014. The pie chart represents the percentages of various types of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed during the same time period. The number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed in Ryeslip steadily decreased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time,
while
Linking Words
 it
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 increased in West Eaton and Church Mount and fluctuated
Sutton
Change preposition
in Sutton
show examples
 Wood. Nearly half of all the
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed across the four libraries
are
Verb problem
were from
show examples
fiction
Correct article usage
the fiction
show examples
 genre and
books
Use synonyms
 concerning self-help
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the next most popular. The number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from Ryeslip dropped by almost half from 300 to nearly 175.
Books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from West Eaton and Church Mount were
initially
Linking Words
 50 and gradually increased to 150 each. Sutton Wood generally rents out over 200
books
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, there was a significant reduction in August
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they only rented 100
books
Use synonyms
. Looking at the types of
books
Use synonyms
 that were being borrowed, fiction is the most popular with is being 43% of the total
books
Use synonyms
.
Books
Use synonyms
 related to self-help
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the next
common
Correct quantifier usage
most common
show examples
, with it being 19% of the
books
Use synonyms
 rented across the four months. Science and history topics were chosen
14
Change preposition
by 14
show examples
% each and biography was the least popular with
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
10%.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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