IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in house, while others fee that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

There
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflicting views among
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their living space.
As some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
 individuals believe that living in a
house
Use synonyms
 brings many benefits than residing in an
apartment
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others favour living in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an apartment
apartments
show examples
apartments
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, living in a
house
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial than flats. One of the primary benefits of living in a
house
Use synonyms
 is the freedom. We know that most of the houses are separated from other buildings, and they are not being
interferred
Correct your spelling
interfered
 by others
as a result
Linking Words
, we can come and go any time, as compared to
apartments
Use synonyms
, where we need to go through some security checks
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 we enter and leave the building.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a person who is living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has no privacy in their
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, houses are more affordable than
apartments
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 inflation world where
people
Use synonyms
 have no money to afford their basic amenities,
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 is a major
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
 for
people
Use synonyms
. Undoubtedly,
apartments
Use synonyms
 provide
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 luxurious experience as they have all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
 including
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
, swimming pools, libraries and even cinemas, but to afford these facilities, citizens need to work more,
therefore
Linking Words
, they
left
Add a missing verb
are left
show examples
 with no time to cherish
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
all
amenities
Correct article usage
the amenities
show examples
 they have.
However
Linking Words
, one main disadvantage of living in a
house
Use synonyms
 is the lack of
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
, which can only be seen in living in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an apartment
apartments
show examples
apartments
Use synonyms
. Once
people
Use synonyms
 construct their
house
Use synonyms
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard for them to move if they are being
trasnform
Correct your spelling
transformed
transform
 to another place because of their work or school. Living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
, on the other side, provides
this
Linking Words
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 because they are paying monthly
rents
Fix the agreement mistake
rent
show examples
, and they can move easily.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite having one disadvantage of living in a
house
Use synonyms
, there are more
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
such
Linking Words
 as freedom and affordability, no doubt, living in
Use synonyms
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
an apartment
show examples
also
Linking Words
 provides
luxurious
Correct article usage
a luxurious
show examples
 experience but
this
Linking Words
 comes at some costs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 hard to afford in
this
Linking Words
 inflation world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas with more detail. Each point should be well-supported.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases, like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally,' to improve the flow between sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Try to check for spelling and grammar mistakes. This will make your writing clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about living in a house being more beneficial, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You included some good points about freedom and affordability, showing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Privacy
  • Living space
  • Gardening
  • Yard
  • Customization
  • Renovate
  • Building regulations
  • Ownership
  • Noise levels
  • Detached properties
  • Investment value
  • Appreciate
  • Long-term investment
  • Community
  • Social interaction
  • Shared facilities
  • Proximity
  • Neighbors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: