IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of good. Other argue that customers should avoid buying good with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying that the
amount
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 of packaging can be a quite struggle.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that manufacturers have the responsibility to decrease the
amount
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 of packaging for items. there is
also
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 an argument that customers have to avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, businesses have to reduce the
amount
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 of packaging.
In other words
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, they are responsible for various
item
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's packaging so it does not go to waste.
In addition
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, the supermarket will have a strategy to decline the number of packaging given to people.
For example
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, they will make a team that will decide how much packaging is put into each
item
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 in order, to make less
amount
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 for crowds.
On the other hand
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,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 should avoid buying items with a lot of packaging. It is
also
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 possible to say that people should not get packaging in the first place.
Moreover
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, customers don't want to struggle with how much packaging they put in.
For instance
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, if a person comes to the store and sees how much packaging is in items,
furthermore
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 they will rather avoid getting it and save their money. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question, On balance,
however
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, l tend to believe that manufacturers and supermarkets should reduce how much packaging it has in every
item
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due to
Change preposition
because
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, they are responsible for making the right
amount
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 ,
whereas
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,
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
show examples
 should be not stressed on how much packages there is for every
item
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and punctuation for errors. This will help your writing feel clearer.
task achievement
Try to make your conclusion more direct and summarize your main points clearly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that shows your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturers
  • supermarkets
  • packaging
  • responsibility
  • reduce
  • amount
  • customers
  • avoid
  • buying
  • products
  • waste
  • environment
  • eco-friendly
  • biodegradable
  • options
  • together
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