IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 that had been used for serval sections :
livestock
Use synonyms
,
fruit
Use synonyms
,sugar,rice,
dairy
Use synonyms
,and other
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
farming purposes and their profit share in Australia during the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
livestock
Use synonyms
,
fruit
Use synonyms
,and
dairy
Use synonyms
 did
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 in first for their intake of the
water
Use synonyms
. During that period of time,
fruit
Use synonyms
, rice ,and
dairy
Use synonyms
 shared the highest
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of income. The
water
Use synonyms
 used for watering the different plants varies from one plant to the other. It can be seen that the
livestock
Use synonyms
 did score the high use of
water
Use synonyms
 with a
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 36.
Fruit
Use synonyms
 and
dairy
Use synonyms
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
came in second and third for their intake of
water
Use synonyms
 with a share of 21%, and 19% respectively.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 sugar, rice ,and other crops did not need that much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 since they shared
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than of third of
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some plants did
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 with a great income than the other. The most section that returned with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great value is the
fruit
Use synonyms
, with a
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 36,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
livestock
Use synonyms
 came in
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 with an income of 5%.
Dairy
Use synonyms
 came in second after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruit
Use synonyms
 with a profit
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 21%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, livestock, fruit, dairy, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: