IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
 has less interest in reading and
wacth
Correct your spelling
watch
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 on TV. As we know reading and
wacthing
Correct your spelling
watching
 New is one of the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to share
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our young
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
. They do not have any interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of several
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
. Interm of,
parent
Use synonyms
,
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
, and Mobile
Use synonyms
Phone
Fix the agreement mistake
Phones
show examples
.
Body · 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
parent
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
 is
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
steakholder
Correct your spelling
stakeholder
 for kids to help them
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 and learn new things.
Leak
Add an article
The leak
A leak
show examples
 of knowledge and skill in parenting made the
children
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not
eiger
Correct your spelling
eager
 to learn new thing.
Parent
Use synonyms
 did not help their
children
Use synonyms
 to
understing
Correct your spelling
understand
 how reading can help them to understand the world.
Limitted
Correct your spelling
Limited
 time to
comunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 make the process for
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 and habit
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
.
Body · 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, society
also
Linking Words
 has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to make the
circumtance
Correct your spelling
circumstance
circumstances
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
positif
Correct your spelling
positive
 to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 to read and watch good
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
Children
Use synonyms
 spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of their time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 something
unnecensary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 for their future. People
also
Linking Words
 do not
put their
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 attention to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of the literature for our young
generatio
Correct your spelling
generation
.
Body · 3
In addition
Linking Words
, mobile
phone
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has
creat
Correct your spelling
created
show examples
bed
Correct your spelling
bad
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the young
generation
Use synonyms
. most of them spend their time
to scroll
Verb problem
on
show examples
 the
phone
Use synonyms
.
Wacthing
Correct your spelling
Watching
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 that
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 relate to their study.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there many
game
Change to a plural noun
games
show examples
 online
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
that also
show examples
 influence our young
generation
Use synonyms
 to be
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
show examples
 to engage with a book.
Body · 4
This
Linking Words
 problem could
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 by giving parenting
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 to the parents. It will help them to understand what should they do as a
parent
Use synonyms
. Do not allow
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 a
phone
Use synonyms
 to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 them from game online,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
 them to be lazy and do have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 reading a book and
wacth
Correct your spelling
watching
 important information.
Body · 5
Finally
Linking Words
, reading is the most
infortant
Correct your spelling
important
 thing for all our
generation
Use synonyms
. Reading
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 our young
generation
Use synonyms
 knowledge and
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
 that help them in the future.
This
Linking Words
isr
Correct your spelling
is
Correct article usage
the responsible
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
steakholder
Correct your spelling
stakeholders
 to create
Add an article
a condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 where our young
generation
Use synonyms
 can be heroes.
Conclusion
Community’s feedback

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coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are clear, but some sentences are unclear or have mistakes. Try to write more simple and correct sentences.
task achievement
Make sure you give more examples or details to support your points. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammar. Check your work for mistakes to improve your writing.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the problem and provide some relevant causes and solutions.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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