IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend . do you agree or disagree

It is been argued whether the
work
Use synonyms
days
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 should be shorter and that the
workers
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 should have more free
days
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.
Although
Linking Words
 others agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, I disagree
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it will lead to a lack in the outcome and
workers
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 will have less excitement for
work
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if working
hours
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 are cut short,
this
Linking Words
 would cause a shortage in the production of every
work
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 field. Take what happened in COVID-19 as an example. In the United States, the working
hours
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 were only 5
hours
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 a day.
This
Linking Words
 caused a dramatic decline, particularly in the food production industries. To illustrate fewer
work
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days
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 will lead not only to less production but
also
Linking Words
 to detrimental effects on public health.
In addition
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 to that, it could
also
Linking Words
 cause chaos since people are going to have more free time.
Secondly
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, if
workers
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 have a longer weekend, they will lose their motivation for
work
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. When a person takes more
days
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 off, they will come back to
work
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 feeling heavy and not ready to perform, but if they just have a weekend to rest, they will come back motivated to
work
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.
For instance
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, a BBC article shows that 35% of the
workers
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 in the UK feel depressed about going back to their jobs after having a vacation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some argue that working people should
work
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 fewer
hours
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, I disagree because of the two reasons stated above.

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task achievement
Try to explain your main ideas more clearly. Use examples that support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Check that your essay flows well from one point to the next.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
You have included specific examples, like the COVID-19 reference, which is good for support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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