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Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart below shows the number of male and female research students studying six-science related subjects at a UK university in 2009.

the chart below shows the number of male and female research students studying six-science related subjects at a UK university in 2009.
The bar chart provides information about the percentage of male and female research
students
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 studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, male
students
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 are more than female in the majority of the subjects.
However
Linking Words
, in one subject — veterinary medicine — female
students
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 outnumbered
males
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. In the three subjects Physics, Astronomy, and Geology, the percentage of male
students
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 was higher than female. In physics, male
students
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were
Wrong verb form
are
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 200 to 50 female.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in astronomy,
males
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 were 150 and females were almost 60. In geology,
males
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 were 150 to about 80 females. In biology and medicine, the numbers for male and female
students
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 were nearly similar — about 250 to 200, and 200 to 190 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in veterinary medicine, females dominated
this
Linking Words
 subject with roughly 120 compared to 100
males
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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