• Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It has been observed that
individuals
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are choosing to
work
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overtime
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, which has reduced their
free-
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free time
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time
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to engage in any hobbies or activities.
This
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is
the
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a
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negative development, as it is essential to have me-
time
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for relaxation.
This
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eassy
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essay
easy
will discuss
provide
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and provide
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evidence to support that
this
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trend has more
disadvatages
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disadvantages
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then
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than
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advatages
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advantages
advantage
. By working taking up extra shifts at
work
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,
individuals
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are able to earn extra income.
According to
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employment laws,
individuals
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working outside of their normal working
hours
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should be paid at
premuim
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premium
rates.
Thus
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, paid at
higher
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a higher
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rate
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then
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than
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their usual pay.
This
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extra income secured through
overtime
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could help them to
acheive
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achieve
financial stability.
Additionally
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,
this
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dedication to
work
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long
hours
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could assist
individuals
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to establish an image of a hard-working employee, which could facilitate career progression.
However
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, by choosing to
work
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overtime
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these
individuals
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sacrifice their leisure
time
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. After spending long
hours
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at
work
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they have limited
time
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, which they often spend on essential tasks,
such
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as cooking, cleaning, sleeping, and running errands.
As a result
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, they are stuck in
a
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apply
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monotonous routines, resulting in high cortisol levels and burnout. Research
suggest
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suggests
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that
,
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apply
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an individual can remedy
this
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situation by
enagaging
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engaging
in
recretional
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recreational
activities.
However
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,
due to
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lack of
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time
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time,
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this
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these
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individuals
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are unable to spend
time
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doing things that could relax and energise them.
Thus
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, working
overtime
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could have a negative impact on an individual's well-being. In conclusion,
Individuals
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working
overtime
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could
acheive
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achieve
financial security but the lack of
free-
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free time
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time
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could negatively impact their well-being.
Thus
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,
advantages
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the advantages
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do not outweigh
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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.
Therefore
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,
individuals
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should focus on their well-being rather than prioritizing long working
hours
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction has a clear position, but it could be more coherent. Make sure to clearly outline your main points to prepare the reader for the essay's discussion.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Try to use clearer linking words and maintain a flow to help guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
You should provide more examples that are relevant to your main points. Specific examples enhance your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt well by discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and restates your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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