IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question: Some people believe that students should study academic subjects like math and science at university. Others believe that students should be allowed to study whatever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays people think that
students
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 should
study
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 academic
subjects
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for example
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 math and science at
university
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while
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others
Use synonyms
 think that they should have the freedom to
study
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 whatever they prefer . In my opinion, I think that
students
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 should choose the
subjects
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 that they want .
This
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 essay will discuss both views and
at the end
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, I will give my opinion . On the one hand, people think that
students
Use synonyms
 should
study
Use synonyms
 academic
subjects
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 like math and science Because these
subjects
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 make
students
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 improve their academic level , if they
study
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 these
subjects
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 they will have enough knowledge and passion to inquiry
In
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Into
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any other
subject
Use synonyms
 and it will be easier for them because these
subject
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 are very hard ,
moreover
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 almost any major at
university
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 include academic
subject
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 .in a
study
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 in United States at Harvard
university
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 it was proven that the
student
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 who studied academic
subjects
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 performed better than the
others
Use synonyms
student
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 that they don’t in
problem-solving
Add an article
the problem-solving
a problem-solving
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 test .
On the other hand
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 ,
others
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 think that
students
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 should
study
Use synonyms
 whatever they like at
university
Use synonyms
,
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apply
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because they think that the
student
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 can do better at the
subject
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 that they like, they
also
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 aloud give more passion to the
subject
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 that they
study
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 .
In addition
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, they will
also
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 be happier at
university
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 than the
others
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 because they are studying something that they like
moreover
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 they will make sure that perform better at it . In another
study
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 made to track the mental health of the
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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, 24
students
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 from different classes but half of them were studying a major that included
subjects
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 that they liked and The other were the opposite , the result was that the
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 that studied the
subject
Use synonyms
 that they like were happier that the other
while
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 the
others
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 were under stress and
also
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 they were decided to stop their studies .
To conclude
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 both ways have their reasons but
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think those who think that
students
Use synonyms
 should
study
Use synonyms
 what they like are more convincing, in my opinion, I think that mental health is the most important , if they are happy they will access more.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly introduce your main ideas in each paragraph and make logical connections between them.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments and make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph and summarize your main point at the end of each paragraph.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is clear and states your opinion, which is a good start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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