IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The illustration
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of candidates for multiple
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
 at
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 centre in Melbourne for the duration
2000
Change preposition
of 2000
show examples
 to 2020. In
generally
Change the word
general
show examples
 Australians are doing five activities;
such
Linking Words
 as film club,martial arts,amateur dramatics,table tennis and musical performances. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sixty competitors participated
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 these competitors are stable between 2000 to 2020.
Lowest
Add an article
The lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
 joined musical performances in 2000.
Therefore
Linking Words
 in 2020 lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of members participated
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 amateur dramatics.
Secondly
Linking Words
 minimum contributors available
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 table tennis, but in 2020 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased dramatically.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 amateur dramatically in 2000 moderately,but
2020
Change preposition
in 2020
show examples
 it
was decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 slowly.
Also
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 of members for material art was
moderately
Change the word
moderate
show examples
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the year.
To sum up
Linking Words
, all the competitors without film
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 are change
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • activities
  • social centre
  • popular
  • decline
  • increase
  • trend
  • interest
  • introduced
  • participants
  • peak
  • creative
  • physical
  • compared
  • features
  • summarise
  • reporting
  • period
  • changed
  • growing
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