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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
This
Linking Words
 line diagram illustrates the proportion of China's
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 between 1960 to 2050. In general,
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 percentage dominated
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
 population
in
Change preposition
at
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 all times,
while
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the youngsters
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youngsters
Fix the agreement mistake
youngster
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 rate
are
Change the verb form
is
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 going to be on
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 rank in the future. Having a look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 chart details,
firstly
Linking Words
, the
firgue
Correct your spelling
figure
virtue
 of
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
 generation from 65
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old had
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
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 stable constantly around 6% in the first 40 years .But it was forecasted that
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 per cent will be significantly rose up in near future. Following with adults and kids
group
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started off with similar spot with approximately 40% in 1960. Over half of
century
Add an article
the century
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, the percentage of
senior
Correct article usage
the senior
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age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically peaked at
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 rank
through
Change preposition
throughout
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 whole
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
 with 70% Chinese citizens.
However
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the older
generation had been
Wrong verb form
generation's
show examples
 growth
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 team
also
Linking Words
 pulled down rapidly from 70% to 53% as predicted in the future. To be opposed, the proportion of children
group
Use synonyms
 was decreased to merely 18% nearly 100 years in 2050.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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