Some people believe that it is responsibility of individual to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In the prevailing era, a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
is crucial to live a longer life. It is an argued issue whether
people
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are responsible
to maintain
Change preposition
for maintaining
show examples
their own balanced
lifestyle
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or
authorities
Correct word choice
whether authorities
show examples
ought to take
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to maintain
Change preposition
for maintaining
show examples
the active
lifestyle
Use synonyms
of their citizens. I believe that it is the duty of the government to ensure their own health and
diet
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. Commencing with the most salient reason why
people
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should maintain their healthy
diet
Use synonyms
by themselves is that it is
people
Use synonyms
's personal preference to choose their
diet
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and
lifestyle
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. They know what kinds of food
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
essential for them to eat
at
Correct word choice
and at
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what time.
For example
Linking Words
, If
people
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feel pain in their
joint
Fix the agreement mistake
joints
show examples
, they usually go to visit doctors.
Neccessary
Correct your spelling
Necessary
medicines are taken by them that may help to relieve. So, it is about the
people
Use synonyms
's choices. On the other side, some
people
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think that the authorities should take care of the healthy
lifestyle
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of their
indigenuos
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indigenous
people
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is that they can impose some strict laws and regulations on
manufactures
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manufacturing
show examples
companies that produce goods. So companies can reduce the amount of sugar,
situated
Correct your spelling
saturated
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fat, and
chlestrol
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cholesterol
in the
bevarage
Correct your spelling
beverage
and edible products. So,
people
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can eat
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
food. I believe that the government should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
to maintain
Change preposition
for maintaining
show examples
the
diet
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and
lifestyle
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary
people
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because many industries add harmful ingredients
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their products
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
them more delicious and durable. If the government deters them
to mix
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from mixing
show examples
those mixture
Change the determiner
that mixture
those mixtures
show examples
and
motives
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motivates
show examples
them to add healthy items
such
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as
fibers
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fibres
show examples
, and minerals. There
are
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is
show examples
more chance that
people
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will live
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
individuals should make sure
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves about their
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
diet
Use synonyms
, I
contemplate
Verb problem
think
show examples
that authorities should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
for
healthy
Correct article usage
the healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
of
thir
Correct your spelling
their
citizens.

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task achievement
Make sure to give clear reasons for your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphing to separate ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling errors and grammatical mistakes.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument adequately.
task achievement
Some good examples were attempted to illustrate points.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the introduction and conclusion is clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal autonomy
  • self-discipline
  • nutrition
  • public health campaigns
  • regulations
  • socio-economic factors
  • dietary habits
  • food industry
  • public health initiatives
  • junk food advertising
  • subsidies
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