The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives

The most beneficial aspect of
Science
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should be designated in enhancing
people’s
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lifespan
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,
Although
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there
science
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has benefited mankind in various ways
but
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apply
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I strongly believe that its involvement in a
longer lasting
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longer-lasting
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lifestyle is
the
Change preposition
of the
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utmost importance.
Firstly
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, the discovery and introduction of lots of new model drugs for the treatment of some deadly diseases like cancer,
hiv
Correct your spelling
HIV
, smoke cessation etc has been a huge attribute to managing
people’s
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ailments and lifestyles thereby helping with a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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lifespan
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,
for
Linking Words
example
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example,
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some anti chemotherapeutic drugs which
was
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were
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developed by scientific drugs has been greatly used in the fight against cancerous diseases which could shorten
people’s
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lifespan
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.
Secondly
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, scientific research has shown that people transiting through the air using aeroplanes, jets, etc
has
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have
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possessed lesser risk of death compared to the olden model means of using
the
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a
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bicycle,
walking
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or walking
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long mile distances which could
possess
Verb problem
pose
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a significant threat to
human’s
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human
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health,
for instance
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riding a long mile using bicycle could cause leg pains, and exposure to hazardous weathers which could shorten
people’s
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lifespan
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. In conclusion,
while
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discussing
about
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apply
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how
science
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has helped differently to mankind
through
Rephrase
differently through
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eradicating some potential diseases and environmental hazards.
Therefore
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, I strongly support the notion of
science
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being a great factor in ensuring the reduction of mortality rates among the masses

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task achievement
Make your main points clearer and support them with specific examples. This will help the reader understand your arguments better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your main argument and your conclusion summarizes your key points.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples about medical advancements and transportation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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