IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to the cinema manager to inform him/her that you have lost your bag in the cinema. In your letter you should - tell exactly what happened and when - explain where you think you left the bag - ask the manager to help find your bag.

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to help me find my
bag
Use synonyms
 which I mistakenly left in the cinema hall
last
Linking Words
 night. I and my friend yesterday booked tickets for the newly released movie,
the hit
Correct your spelling
The Hit
show examples
 at your cinema location. To add more details, the show commenced at 9 in the evening and wrapped around midnight. After the show was over
while
Linking Words
 evacuating the hall which was number 8, I forgot about
o take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 my
bag
Use synonyms
 with me. Actually what happened exactly was that during
interval
Add an article
the interval
an interval
show examples
 of the
movie
Add a comma
movie,
show examples
 I grabbed some food from the available food counter in the hall and there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no more room for my
bag
Use synonyms
 on my lap so I kept it under my seat, in row G number 8. So I believe it should be there only unless the
clearners
Correct your spelling
cleaners
learners
 have found it and deposited it
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the lost and found centre of the mall. To make it easier for you to identify the
bag
Use synonyms
, it is a black colour coach side
bag
Use synonyms
 with coach written in golden
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 at the bottom left corner. The
bag
Use synonyms
 is very important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 me as it contains my
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license and some bank cards as well so I would really be grateful
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 you if you could help me
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
show examples
 my purse. Look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Navneet Kaur

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task response
Try to provide a clearer beginning that explains why you're writing the letter in the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentences to keep the reader engaged.
task response
You clearly stated what happened and when, which is important for the manager to understand your situation.
task response
Your description of the bag is detailed, which will help in identifying it quickly.
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