IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The bar chart depicts information on the expenditure of junk food each week in Britain by different income groups in 1990,
while
Linking Words
 the line graph provides data on the trends in
consumption
Use synonyms
 of these foods in a 20-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart shows information about people who earned high incomes
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 spent the majority of money on
hamburgers
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 low-income
earners
Use synonyms
 spent the least amount of money on
hamburgers
Use synonyms
, fish and chips, and pizza. With regards to the line graph, the number of individuals who enjoyed eating
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 and pizzas increased over the given period of time,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of fish and chips decreased during the 20-year period.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, high-income
earners
Use synonyms
 spent the majority of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
show examples
 on junk food per week with a value of 45 pence, average-income
earners
Use synonyms
 spent a little under 35 pence,
while
Linking Words
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
earners
Use synonyms
 spent about 7 pence on pizza. In the line graph,
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburger
show examples
hamburgers
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 increased significantly from 100
grammes
Use synonyms
 to 500
grammes
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 1990.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people rarely enjoyed eating fish and chips because the
consumption
Use synonyms
 values decreased from 300
grammes
Use synonyms
 to 200
grammes
Use synonyms
 over time. Pizza
consumption
Use synonyms
 fluctuated from 0
grammes
Use synonyms
 to 100
grammes
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and 1985 respectively, before rising sharply to 300
grammes
Use synonyms
 in 1990.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, hamburgers, earners, grammes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Fast food
  • Income groups
  • High-income
  • Low-income
  • Medium-income
  • Hamburgers
  • Fried chicken
  • Fish & chips
  • Consumption
  • Trends
  • Significant increase
  • Decline
  • Popularity
  • Spending patterns
  • Consumption trends
  • Lifestyle
  • Preferences
  • Prices
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