IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Your child is going on a 3 day international schooltrip .Head teacher wants to find out if parents are interested in joining.write a letter say why you would like to go suggest what you can do to help ask other questions about the trip

Dear Sir , I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to congratulate
and
Correct pronoun usage
you and
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 appreciate your efforts
for
Change preposition
in
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 organizing a
3 day day
Correct your spelling
3-day
 international
trip
Use synonyms
 to Maldives . I am
a
Correct article usage
the
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 mother of Aarav , currently studying in 3rd grade
of
Change preposition
on
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 your premises yesterday, he told me about the
trip
Use synonyms
 . I am
fascinating
Wrong verb form
fascinated
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 to join
this
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trip
Use synonyms
 with the school staff,
although
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 it has been
long
Change the article
a long
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 time since the school planned a
trip
Use synonyms
 .
This
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 would be
a
Change the article
apply
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fun for young
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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, they will get time off from their studies and unwind
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from
the
Change the word
their
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 hectic schedule. I would like to assist the teachers
to handle
Change preposition
in handling
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 the children as more than 20 pupils are going
to
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
trip
Use synonyms
 . Other than that , I can serve them food ,
water
Correct word choice
and water
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 as per their need . I have
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 questions to ask , I want to know about the tickets and
timings
Correct article usage
the timings
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 of the flight . It would be great if I get concise information about the
overall
Linking Words
 expenses . We can have
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
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 at your convenience and I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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 faithfully, Harbk

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a clear introduction stating your interest in the trip right at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Separate your questions into different paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to use formal greetings and closings for a better tone.
task achievement
You expressed excitement about the trip and the need for help, which shows your willingness to support.
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