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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend no more than 20 minutes on this task. This line graph shows the percentage of women who were employed in four countries from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

You should spend no more than 20 minutes on this task. This line graph shows the percentage of women who were employed in four countries from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The line graph traces the evolution of the percentage
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women employed in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Korea
Use synonyms
, Afghanistan, and France spanning from
1985to
Correct your spelling
1985 to
 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notably seen in the
USA
Use synonyms
,
Korea
Use synonyms
, and France witnessed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
upward trends,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
show examples
 Afghanistan
was faced
Change the verb form
has faced
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
downward trends in the periods of the year 1985 to 2005 In detail,
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Korea
Use synonyms
 shared
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar trends ,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 starting from 45% ,and gradually increased to 65% in 2000, after that decreased
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 5% to 60%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. In the case of
Use synonyms
Korea
Add a comma
Korea,
show examples
 the figure showed a significant
grew
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 from 20% to nearly 35% in the next
15years
Correct your spelling
15 years
. Afterwards constantly goes up to nearly 40%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the year. The percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France fluctuated from 1985 to 1995 in the range of
10%from 30%to
Correct your spelling
10% from 30% to
 40%, slightly rose to 55%,
then
Linking Words
maintain
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 stable in the following 5 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Afghanistan steadily
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 from 30% to 40% ,after 1995
plunge
Wrong verb form
plunged
show examples
 by 10% in 2000 and constantly decreased until 0% in 2005.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage of women employed
  • employment trends
  • notable changes
  • significant increases and decreases
  • periods of stability
  • specific years and percentages
  • overall trend
  • compare and contrast
  • similarities and differences
  • throughout the period
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