Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Rising global populus is being feared to be a future crisis by some
people
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,
while
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others believe
this
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to be positive to the growth of
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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. The writer of
this
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essay believes that
overpopulation
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increases the price of living space and essential goods, despite some
people
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arguing that the workforce is enforced
because
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because of
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the influx
in
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of
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workers. It must be noted that the current residential system cannot facilitate
for
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apply
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increased
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
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.
Due to
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the fact that most urban buildings were originally erected to house a specific amount of
people
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,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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city planners did not anticipate that the population would rise at
such
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drastic rates.
For example
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, Ho Chi Minh City,
Vietnam
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Vietnam's
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most populated metropolis, has been facing a housing crisis as more
people
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started to move into the
cosmopolitian
Correct your spelling
cosmopolitan
.
As a result
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, city dwellers either have to be complacent and live in inadequate living quarters, or spend a tremendous amount of money for alternatives. Despite the
aforemention
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aforementioned
argument, the opposition believes as more
people
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enter the economy, the more it will thrive. Stemming from the lack of personnel in some fields, increased manpower may resolve
this
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problem.
However
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,
this
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can
also
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lead to jobs being extremely competitive in the near future, because the job market is flooded with workers.
This
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can be seen through The Republic of Congo in 2000, in which 90% of its citizens were unemployed, mostly
as a result
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of the population
bloom
Correct your spelling
boom
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the country had witnessed a few years ago. In the writer's opinion,
overpopulation
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is a negative development because it raises services
prices
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. Naturally,
due
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to
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apply
show examples
to the law of supply and demand, more
people
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living in
a
Correct article usage
the
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same area
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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going to raise
items
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item
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prices
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.
For instance
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, China, which currently has over 1 billion citizens, was recorded to have the greatest inflation rates
as well as
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prices
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surging within the
last
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20 years.
Therefore
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,
overpopulation
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, if not resolved correctly, would be problematic for individuals who are trying to survive. In conclusion,
overpopulation
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is a negative notion, in
this
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writer's opinion, because it increases
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
and essentials
prices
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, yet some may
rebuts
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rebut
show examples
that it is positive for the economy.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state both views and your opinion earlier. Make sure to rephrase the question to show engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points better and make them clearer. For instance, using more recent data or studies can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You use examples from different countries, which helps to illustrate your points. Keep this practice for credibility.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Sustainable development
  • Resource depletion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Economic growth
  • Social stability
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Living standards
  • Cultural diversity
  • Economic opportunities
  • Global crisis
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