Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is widely believed that the development of third-world
nations
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could be
acheived
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achieved
by improving its health, education, and
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trades
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trade
show examples
sectors
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.
Therefore
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, the government of developed
nations
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with stable financial standing should assist these poorer
nations
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by providing
adequete
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adequate
funds to improve
such
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sectors
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. I agree that richer
nations
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should help poorer
nation
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nations
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to develop themselves in these essential
sectors
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.
This
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essay will provide reasoning behind my opinion.
Firstly
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, the
nations
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without any wealth or resources could struggle to
estabhish
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establish
academic
insitutions
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institutions
,
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
and business
network
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networks
show examples
.
They
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The
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reason behind their
shortcommings
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shortcomings
is
due to
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the lack of funds to buy materials required for
such
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estabhishments
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establishments
.
For instance
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, they require
sepcialised
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specialised
specialized
medicines,
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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, and
furnitures
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furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
for setting up hospitals, these things are usually expensive and manufactured by richer
nations
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Similarly
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,
to build
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building
show examples
schools, colleges, and universities requires building materials, educational tools, and teachers.
Thus
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,
by
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apply
show examples
providing these required materials
for
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apply
show examples
free of cost could help in building hospitals and educational
insitute
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institute
institutes
, which can cure diseases and educate youth respectively.
Therefore
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,
increasing
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an increasing
show examples
number of healthy and educated individuals can find
job
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jobs
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and work to build
stable
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a stable
the stable
show examples
economy for
thier
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their
country.
Secondly
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,
the
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apply
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rich countries usually have
ample
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an ample
the ample
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number of
sucessfull
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successful
enterprise
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enterprises
show examples
and businesses.
Thus
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, by
encoraging
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encouraging
these
sucessful
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successful
companies to invest in these poorer
nations
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by providing incentives or tax
rebate
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rebates
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. When these
comapnies
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companies
are
set-up
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set up
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in
a
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apply
show examples
third-world comapanies they are able to
incraeses
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increase
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the employement
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employement
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employment
rate in those countries
thus
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providing income and wages.
Furthermore
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, the products from these companies
also
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extabhish
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establish
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trades
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trade
show examples
with other
nations
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, which helps in
boositing
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boosting
ecomony
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economy
of
such
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poorer
nations
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. In conclusion, the under-developed
nations
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could achieve
devlopment
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development
if their health, education, and
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trades
Change the noun form
trade
show examples
sectors
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are improved. As
the
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apply
show examples
estabhishing
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establishing
a hospital could increase their
helathy
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healthy
population.
furthermore
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,
development
Correct article usage
the development
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of schools, colleges, and universities could
incraese
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increase
literacy
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the literacy
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rate
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rates
show examples
.
Lastly
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, these individuals could be employed by companies
set-up
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set up
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by rich
coutries
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countries
could boost
economy
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the economy
show examples
by creating jobs and opportunities for
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trades
Fix the agreement mistake
trade
show examples
with other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
.
Therefore
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, rich
nations
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should take responsibility for helping the poorer
nations
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in
health
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the health
show examples
, education, and
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trades
Change the noun form
trade
show examples
sectors
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to
facillitate
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facilitate
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth.

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task response
The introduction is clear, but you could make your opinion stronger with clearer language.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has clear main ideas that connect to your opinion.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points even better.
task response
You addressed important areas for development in poorer nations: health, education, and trade.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • government
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • assistance
  • capacity
  • resources
  • collaboration
  • effective
  • sustainable
  • shared
  • non-governmental organizations
  • empowering
  • local governments
  • communities
  • investing
  • infrastructure
  • capacity-building
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • knowledge transfer
  • improvement
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