Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate going on that talks about how are
women
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paid far less than men in military forces and other related fields ,
While
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others think that it's not suitable for
women
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to be in
such
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dangerous fields,
However
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,
i
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I
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will be discussing both opinions and show which one is more correct.
For the
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The
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people who think that
women
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are not suitable,
They
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have
that kinds
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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of thoughts based on strong and valid reasons,
Overall
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this
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argument is supported by the natural ability that the man
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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over
women
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which will be very much needed in
this
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kind of field where physical ability is strongly required
On the other hand
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, Those who think
women
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are less paid and those kinds of roles they have a very equal argument , And that because
women
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are not suitable for those kinds and yet they still put themselves in that kind of place where it's far more dangerous for a womanwomen to be in, And above that they are still paid less , From that perspective you could see why they're mad about it
However
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, in my opinion, i think that
women
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should not be put in
this
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kind of role , But if so they should be paid more
then
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a man because of the risk difference that they are facing. In conclusion , Both sides had great and valid reasons but
personally
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personally,
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I think the second opinion has better logic and reasons ,
Although
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I agree with some of the opinions that the first party mentioned .

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Give a brief overview of both sides before diving into the discussion.
Task Achievement
Try to use clearer examples to support your points. This will help make your ideas stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to add more details in your paragraphs so that each point flows smoothly.
Task Achievement
You express a clear opinion at the end of your essay. This is good for showing your stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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