The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being over weight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society. How can this problem be solved.

There is no denying the fact that the amount of

overeweight

Correct your spelling

overweight

individuals is increasing in recent days, which will negatively

impacts

Change the verb form

impact

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health status. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the factors for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and the possible approaches to minimize it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many reasons for obesity, one main reason is that

heavy duty

Add a hyphen

heavy-duty

show examples

jobs are almost

diminshed

Correct your spelling

diminished

For example

Linking Words

manual

Change preposition

in manual

show examples

farming, everything now is automated and done by machines. In another world, most of the jobs in

this

Linking Words

modern world

Correct your spelling

show examples

done by

setting

Correct your spelling

sitting

show examples

in the offices and moving at all. Another point to consider,

the

Add a missing verb

is the

show examples

type of food that people are eating particularly in younger individuals, like junk food which contains a huge amount of calories. In terms of how

this

Linking Words

problem could be solved, the authorities should increase the community's knowledge about the significant risk of obesity and how it will impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health in the future.

For instance

Linking Words

, high cholesterol levels in the body could contribute to

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

a blood

strok

Correct your spelling

stroke

Moreover

Linking Words

, the government can provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centres

with

Change preposition

show examples

low cost which

open

Correct subject-verb agreement

opens

show examples

the chance for

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

people to subscribe

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, food companies should consider selling healthy

premaid

Correct your spelling

premade

prepaid

meals in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

supermarkets as the majority of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

living

Wrong verb form

lives

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

modern lifestyle and

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not have

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough time to prepare nutritious meals. In conclusion, people must pay attention to their health

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

what to eat and consider

to exercise

Change the verb form

exercising

show examples

regularly, at least three times a week.

deemabahnshalSat Jun 07 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction. This helps the reader understand what you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your points.

task achievement

Bring in more specific examples or details to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Check for spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can affect understanding.

task achievement

You effectively identified the problem of obesity and its impact on health, which shows good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion nicely summarizes the main points you made in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being over weight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society. How can this problem be solved.

Your opinion

Nowadays people tend to have their own business because of the modern world. Why do they need this? What are the risks?

Some people think adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

59.Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.