IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree! Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expenence.

Advertisement is highly important around the world. It
refleacts
Correct your spelling
reflects
 the
societies
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 needs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 particular products.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 advertising powers over
people
Use synonyms
, and it should be illustrated
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same shape as the
product
Use synonyms
 in real life . Venders know exactly the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 of
advertisements
Change noun form
advertisements'
advertisement's
show examples
 power over
people
Use synonyms
, That's why they should make sure they're totally honest about the
product
Use synonyms
 benefits and disadvantages.
Instead
Linking Words
 of trying to enforce some shady products and make
people
Use synonyms
 lose their money which will cause the sellers high cost loss,
Same
Correct article usage
the Same
show examples
 way they made others waste money on useless items, They should have some respect and shame for themselves before advertising any item
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 intend to sell.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 easily influenced by television on
billboards
Fix the agreement mistake
billboard
show examples
 adverts. Especially if a famous actor
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
 a specific
product
Use synonyms
 will get
people
Use synonyms
buy
Add the particle
to buy
show examples
 it in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 blink of an eye.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I'm going to be honest I have never bought a
product
Use synonyms
 before
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 didn't work exactly the way I expected, but I
heared
Correct your spelling
heard
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 got scammed because the stuff they bought wasn't suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 use the way the advertisement demonstrated inside their heads.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to have clear and organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea and some supporting details.
task achievement
Make sure to answer the question clearly and directly in your introduction and conclusion. Summarize your main points.
task achievement
Use specific examples from real life or your experiences to support your ideas. This will help make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You express a strong opinion on the topic, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You mention the influence of advertising and provide some insights on people's behavior, which is a good starting point for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer behavior
  • Perceived needs
  • Marketing strategies
  • Impulsive buying
  • Persuasive advertising
  • Consumer culture
  • Informed choice
  • Social trends
  • Economic catalyst
  • Branded products
  • Throwaway society
  • Societal values
  • Social status
  • Replacement cycle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: