City planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like office) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

City
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planners want to make new designs for cities. They will build schools, markets, and offices in different areas. I think
this
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is a good idea and it will help
people
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who live in the
city
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.
First,
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if schools are close to homes, children can walk to school.
This
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is better for safety and health. Parents will
also
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save time because they don’t need to drive their kids far.
This
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helps the family and
also
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the environment, because there will be less traffic and less air pollution.
Second,
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if markets are in many parts of the
city
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,
people
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can buy food and things near their
house
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houses
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. They do not have to travel far to shop.
This
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makes life easier, especially for old
people
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and busy workers. It
also
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saves money on transport.
Third,
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if offices and
work places
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workplaces
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are not all in one place,
people
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can find jobs near their homes.
This
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will help with traffic jams. Right now, many
people
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go to the same area to work.
This
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causes problems like noise, crowding, and long travel times. New plans can fix
this
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. In conclusion, I believe the new designs will help
city
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people
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. Life will be more simple, comfortable, and safe. If planners think carefully, the
city
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can grow in a good way and
people
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will be happy to live there.

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coherence
Try to connect your ideas with linking words like 'first', 'second', and 'finally'. This will help the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You presented good ideas about schools, markets, and offices.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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