IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
pie
Use synonyms
 and
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 provide key information about
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK for the
last
Linking Words
 year. The
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 is measured in the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 (tens of thousands),
whereas
Linking Words
 the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 is measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the
line
Use synonyms
 graph that there was a relationship between
age
Use synonyms
 and
crime
Use synonyms
. As we showed, there were no
crimes
Use synonyms
 in childhood stages the
age
Use synonyms
 between 0 to 8
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 there was a slight rise throughout the interval of 8 to 12. After that, there was a sharp increase between 12 to 15
years
Use synonyms
 reaching 70
crimes
Use synonyms
 tens of thousands.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
line
Use synonyms
 arrived at the peak of nearly 80
crimes
Use synonyms
 tens of thousands in 20
years
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, there was a gradual decline until the
age
Use synonyms
 reached 28
years
Use synonyms
. After that, we noted that
crimes
Use synonyms
 decreased with the increase in human
age
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the
pie
Use synonyms
 graph there were types of
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK in the
last
Linking Words
 year. Violent
crime
Use synonyms
 represented approximately half of the
pie
Use synonyms
chart
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 nearly 46%,
whereas
Linking Words
 public order
crime
Use synonyms
 represented 9%.
Finally
Linking Words
, property
crime
Use synonyms
 and drug
crime
Use synonyms
 illustrate the same per cent about a quarter for each category.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, line, chart, crime, crimes, age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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