Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

New towns and residential
centres
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are continuously being planned and implemented across the globe. Amenities and natural spaces are important features to consider when designing a new town,
this
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essay will discuss the reasons behind my firm opinion that leisure
centres
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and green space are more important than shopping malls. Sports facilities and
parks
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may play a role in improving the psychological and physical health of the neighbouring residents. Accessible
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
and swimming
pool
Fix the agreement mistake
pools
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motivate more
people
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to invest in leading a healthier lifestyle,
therefore
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allowing
people
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to live a happier life.
For example
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, when there is a gym
that is
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within walking distance, the local
people
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are likely to find time to visit and take part in exercising, group classes and sports events which in turn will likely create a sense of belonging to a community spirit.
Whereas
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, shopping
centres
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are not essential on a daily basis and may be limited to occasional necessity in which
people
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may happily travel a greater distance.
Additionally
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,
Parks
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can be utilised by a wider range of the population including children
,
Correct word choice
and, elderly
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elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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and may
also
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be accessible to wheelchair users.
For example
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, families can spend their free time in the park in which children can use the play area, elders might relax on a bench and middle-aged
people
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may have a picnic.
On the other hand
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, shopping
centres
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are likely to target and attract a small proportion of the population
such
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as working adults and
therefore
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are not of more importance than
parks
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or sports facilities. In conclusion,
although
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shopping
centres
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can add value to a newly built town, the practical necessity of
parks
Use synonyms
and leisure facilities is greater as they provide an all-inclusive service that improves the health and wellbeing of
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
public.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great! However, try to give a brief outline of your main points for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more easily.
task achievement
While you provided good examples, try to include a few more details or data to strengthen your arguments.
positive
Your arguments for health benefits from parks and sports facilities are well explained.
positive
You effectively highlighted the inclusive nature of parks compared to shopping centers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parks
  • sports
  • facilities
  • shopping
  • centers
  • free time
  • important
  • provide
  • community
  • health
  • lifestyle
  • physical activity
  • mental well-being
  • nature
  • relax
  • events
  • belonging
  • teamwork
  • interaction
  • consumer
  • lifestyle
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