IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of income by three categories including agriculture,
industry
Use synonyms
 and services between 1960 to 2000 in
Indian
Correct your spelling
India
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure for service experienced a dramatic increase
whereas
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
 remained
relative
Change the word
relatively
show examples
 stable.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of income
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 agriculture
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 a downward trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1960, agriculture contributed the most to the annual GDP, accounting for nearly 65%,
while
Linking Words
 service and
industry
Use synonyms
 shared similar
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the percentage dropped significantly throughout the period and
finally
Linking Words
 reached its lowest point at 15% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, a notable growth could be seen in service, it rose from approximately 16% in 1960 to its peak at just above 60% in 2000, almost four times more than the original figure. The proportion of the
industry
Use synonyms
 slightly fluctuated between 18% to 25%, it reached its highest point at 25% in 1980, and remained stable
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words industry with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: