Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A group of

people

Use synonyms

believe in

order

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to bring different individuals from various

cultures

Use synonyms

and ages together, we can use

music

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. I vehemently agree

due to

Linking Words

the

music

Use synonyms

simplesity

Correct your spelling

simplicity

and its common effects on human's mood. One of the main reasons why

music

Use synonyms

can bring

people

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together is its

simplecity

Correct your spelling

simplicity

. Humans from different

cultures

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have their own

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

music

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and musical

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

. They are interested

to introduce

Change preposition

in introducing

show examples

their culture and traditions to others

Change preposition

show examples

the easiest

way

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Thus

Linking Words

, these

people

Use synonyms

make

music

Use synonyms

with the simplest method in

order

Use synonyms

to be played and understood by foreigners very easily. In

this

Linking Words

way

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

from different

cultures

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can take part in international festivals and not only listen to each other's soundtracks

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but try to learn and play them as well. Gradually,

people

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can share more than their

music

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, including their language, traditions and the like, which makes them even

Change the word

apply

show examples

closer to each other. Another reason is the

music

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's ability to influence

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

mood with almost similar

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

. There are various types of sounds which can bring happiness or sadness to individuals.

This

Linking Words

effect is almost similar for all genders and age groups. Almost anyone will be excited by listening to

an energetic pop

Remove the article

energetic pop music

a piece of energetic pop music

show examples

music

Use synonyms

which

rises

Correct your spelling

raises

show examples

the

dopamin

Correct your spelling

dopamine

level in

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

brains.

For example

Linking Words

, thousands of

people

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take part in a big concert in

order

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to experience

this

Linking Words

common sense of excitement with each other. In

this

Linking Words

way

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, they have something big and important in common, regardless of whether they are young or old, which can be an effective

way

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of bringing

people

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from

Change preposition

show examples

various ages together.

Moreover

Linking Words

, humans can use

this

Linking Words

effect to socialize more with other human beings. In conclusion, some recommend that

music

Use synonyms

is an important tool in

order

Use synonyms

to bring

people

Use synonyms

from various

cultures

Use synonyms

and ages together. I agree

due to

Linking Words

the

music

Use synonyms

simplesity

Correct your spelling

simplicity

and its incredible capability to influence human's mood.

m.lotfipour92Thu Jun 12 2025

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language

Make sure to check your spelling of words like 'simplicity' which you wrote as 'simplesity'.

content

Add more examples that show how music helps different cultures connect, such as specific festivals or events.

cohesion

Try to use more linking words to make the flow of ideas clearer, such as 'firstly', 'in addition', or 'finally'.

content

You presented interesting ideas about how music brings people together, which is a strong point of your essay.

content

Your points about the mood-changing effects of music are relatable and easy to understand.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvanatges to this?

Some people believe that it is good for students to have the same teacher for several years. Others think students benefit more from having new teachers each year. Which do you think is better? Give specific reasons to support your opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?