IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Creating new relationships through social media could be a great way for
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 people to connect with society and not feel isolated
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it makes it easier for them to interact with others.
However
Linking Words
, in-person communication
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
 a more realistic kind of relationships that tend to stay longer in most cases, given that there aren't
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 obstacles to overcome,
such
Linking Words
 as geographical distance or internet connection issues. Personally, I don't see connecting with others through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
bad idea considering that almost everybody nowadays is stuck in their virtual life,
hence
Linking Words
, if making friendships online is the most common way to connect with people at present, I would do it just to not feel disconnected from the world.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all sentences relate to it.
task achievement
Add more examples to explain your points better. For instance, mention specific situations where online friendships helped someone.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a clear introduction and conclusion that sums up your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You have made a clear opinion and provided some reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing shows a good understanding of both views.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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