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Band 5

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.
The graph depicts five
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of Australia’s
post- school
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post-school
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 qualification and the percentage of 2 different
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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Punctuation problem
, man
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 1999. Generally,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
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 was larger than
women
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 in total
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 the highest
number
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 of
men
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 in skilled vocational diploma ,
while
Linking Words
 the minimum
number
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 of
women
Use synonyms
 in the same level. For
women
Use synonyms
,the undergraduate diploma accounted for
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 proportion at around 70% was nearly twice time as much as
men
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 at 40 %.The proportion of
Women
Use synonyms
 in bachelor’s
Use synonyms
degree
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degrees
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 at around 55%
was
Verb problem
apply
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a slightly higher than
men
Use synonyms
 in
number
Use synonyms
 at 50 %. In the rest of the levels of post-school (skilled vocational
degree
Use synonyms
,postgraduate
degree
Use synonyms
 and master’s
degree
Use synonyms
 ),the
number
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 of
women
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 was less than that of
men
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.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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particularly
Replace the word
particular
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, the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 in postgraduate degrees was double that of
women
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 at approximately 70 %.And skilled vocational degrees got the highest
number
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 of
men
Use synonyms
 at 90%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, number, men, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • post-school qualifications
  • proportion
  • bachelor degrees
  • vocational diplomas
  • certificates
  • gender divide
  • educational trends
  • higher education
  • qualifications
  • disparities
  • predominantly
  • patterns
  • trends
  • illustrates
  • distribution
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