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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the percentages of travellers to England who visited attractions in Brighton, divided into 4 different places from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the share of guests visiting the pavilion increased over time and became the most visited attraction
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the trend of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the art gallery fell sharply, especially after 1990. In 1980, the percentage of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the pavilion increased from 22% in 1980 to 30% in 2010. Indeed, it reached
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 all-time high in 1995 with almost 50%, which was a huge gap compared to others.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the Pavilion, the share of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who come to the pier
also
Linking Words
 significantly rose by gaining around 11% during the
last
Linking Words
 30 years to approximately 21% in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 to the art gallery experienced a sharp decline during the period, starting from approximately 20% in 1980 and ending
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 less than 10% in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of guests who visit the festival remained the same with
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly decreased
Replace the word
slight decrease
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 5%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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