IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

It is irrefutable that modern technology plays an important role in changing ways of doing all
work
Use synonyms
 to make
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 life easier. In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, telecommuting is
grow ing
Correct your spelling
growing
show examples
 day by day in
numerours
Correct your spelling
numerous
 countries and feel that
this
Linking Words
 will be the popular method of doing
work
Use synonyms
 in the next some years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss both
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pros and cons of telecommuting in terms of affecting society
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
 providing
Correct article usage
a conculsion
show examples
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
at the end
Linking Words
. There are many benefits of remote
work
Use synonyms
 for workers as well
for
Correct word choice
as for
show examples
 companies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it provides an opportunity
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 employees to gain
work
Use synonyms
-life balance as they can spend more time with their
Correct your spelling
family
faimly
Correct your spelling
family
 members and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can easily manage their personal
Correct your spelling
responsible
responsibi
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
lities
Correct your spelling
litres
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is one of the best ideas
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing traffic congestion and pollution as fewer cars on the road every day which leads to a clean environment.
For example
Linking Words
 , during the COVID-19 pandemic in India, all multinational companies started working from home which resulted in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 pollutants in
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 environment as per the article
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Hamdard newspaper.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, it is beneficial for both employees and employers in the connection of costs by saving commuting fares and office space expenses respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, telecommuting leads to some negative impacts on society as well.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
work
Use synonyms
 from home, which increases the feeling of isolation as they do not get any chance for social interaction and they feel bored in their daily routine by doing the same
work
Use synonyms
 which impacts their mental health in a bad way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, telecommuting reduces the chances of promotion because workers are unable to show their
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
strength on computers. In conclusion, I believe that in the upcoming
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 telecommuting will be more popular due
its
Change preposition
to its
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact on both employees and employers. By taking steps on a personal level , workers can easily deal with mental health in a better way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas and connect them logically.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed both pros and cons of telecommuting, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • workers
  • home
  • office
  • technology
  • society
  • affect
  • balance
  • family
  • responsibilities
  • traffic
  • pollution
  • environment
  • cost
  • employers
  • employees
  • space
  • isolation
  • interaction
  • traditional
  • flexibility
  • hours
  • productive
  • satisfaction
  • opportunity
  • rural
  • urban
  • jobs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: