IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1999.The bar chart shows the most popular countries visited by United Kingdom residents in 1999

The line graph shows visits to and from the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1999.The bar chart shows the most popular countries visited by United Kingdom residents in 1999
The line diagram demonstrates the rate of tourists who went to the
UK
Use synonyms
 from 1979 to 1999 and the most frequent nations visited by
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens. In general, travelling abroad still is a popular trend with United Kingdom
people
Use synonyms
 compared to overseas residents and the figure for France showed that the United Kingdom
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 favourite country to travel
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 Looking into deep details, the figure for visiting data with
UK
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 and
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
slightly increased from around 10% to reach 20% and 12%, respectively in 1985.
Additionally
Linking Words
, travelling to other countries became a popular trend for Britains till the end of the period, which rose from 20% and peaked at nearly 55%. Compared to that significant change, the
UK
Use synonyms
 nation wasn't a popular country even though it still had gradually gone up to 37% in 1999. The figure for
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens in the final year of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century, France and Spain had
dominant
Correct article usage
the dominant
show examples
 tourist rate which is approximately 10% in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nations.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Greece have remained constant with roughly 3 million
people
Use synonyms
 in each state.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Turkey had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest rank compared to others when it merely had 2% in 1999.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: