The top priority of business is making money and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree ot disagree.

Some people argue that we need to
prioratize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
to produce
Change the verb form
producing
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money rather than
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
responsibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
responsibility
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in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
business sector. I think it is important to take a balance of both aspects and should not lean to one side. I will give some reasons why I have
such
Linking Words
an opinion. First of all,
to produce
Change the verb form
producing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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money circulation is essential for
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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in
Change preposition
of
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a country.
For example
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, if one company get a profit, they separate it and give it to each
workers
Change to a singular noun
worker
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. After that, they spend their wages to live a
satisfiyng
Correct your spelling
satisfying
daily life.
Then
Linking Words
, those expense comes back to the company.
Like
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
,
more
Correct article usage
the more
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money people use, the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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in
Change preposition
of
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a country grows.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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employees may be motivated
,
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apply
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if they can get more earning, which lead to
a
Change the article
an
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efficient in a job.
On the other hand
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, if they do not contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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become to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
find it difficult to
acknowlege
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
the value of their job.
Moreover
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, it makes
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
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for
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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to understand what the company doing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
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, their demand for it would possibly decline. In conclusion, companies should take both making
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
and working for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.

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task achievement
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and spelling carefully.
task achievement
You made a clear point about the importance of money for the economy.
coherence and cohesion
You presented both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • business
  • money
  • social responsibility
  • profit
  • employees
  • grow
  • customers
  • environment
  • image
  • community
  • backlash
  • attract
  • products
  • harm
  • long run
  • balance
  • beneficial
  • ways
  • care
  • argue
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