Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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some argue that space exploration is the next step in human evolution, others strongly contend that government funding should be directed towards urgent societal issues.
Although
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rapid technological advancements have made space travel
become
Verb problem
apply
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more feasible, public spending should be prioritised on public services. One major area that continues to suffer
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of financial investment is public healthcare. Budget cuts have negatively impacted hospital services nationwide, resulting in understaffed clinics, outdated facilities and a significant backlog of appointments.
Consequently
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, doctors have been underpaid leading to strikes that aggravate the dire situation.
Overall
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, healthcare quality will inevitably cause more individuals to suffer from preventable diseases.
Furthermore
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, increasing
crime
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rates in urban areas remains a critical issue that has been neglected.
As a result
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of insufficient attention, knife
crime
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in the UK has risen substantially over the past few years. A lack of spending towards the police sector has contributed to a surge
of
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in
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crime
Use synonyms
rates in major cities
such
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as London, Manchester and Birmingham. If more public spending is directed towards policing, knife
crime
Use synonyms
in the UK will gradually decline
however
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, in today's time, certain areas plagued with knife attacks are rendered
as
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apply
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unsafe. In summary, interplanetary space travel is an exciting opportunity that could propel humanity into
further
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advancements.
Nevertheless
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,sectors
such
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as healthcare, policing and housing are vital components
to
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of
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a functioning society. It is imperative that public funding is prioritised towards sustaining health, safety and adequate housing before entertaining the notion of planetary colonisation.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more clearly with transition words, so the reader can follow your argument better.
task achievement
Make sure each main point is clearly supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the main argument of the essay, which is a strong start.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your key points well, giving a good ending to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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