Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, most
of
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apply
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children's actions and
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
Add a missing verb
are affacted
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affacted
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affected
by peer pressure. In my opinion, Young peers from
same
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the same
show examples
genration
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generation
have
strong
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a strong
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effect on each other in both good
or
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and
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bad sides.
This
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essay argues why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the
positivliy infulance
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positive influence
of peer pressure can
shap
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shape
the the lives of teenagers. Admittedly one of the
majer
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major
advantages of peer pressure is learning
infulunce
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influence
. A study conducted in 2008 stated that the ability of Young individuals to learn from their peers is higher by 80%
compred
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compared
to traditional
learing
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learning
methods.
This
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can help them to expand
thier
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their
knowledge and
infulance
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influence
them to build
postive
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positive
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. One clear example of
this
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,
if
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is if
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a teenager
see
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sees
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his friend follow a
helthy
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healthy
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
and go to
gym
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the gym
show examples
three days a week ,
this
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will affect him to
altre
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alter
his daily routine to be like him more
healther
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healthy
and
doing
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do
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more
exercices
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exercise
.  Despite the
advantage
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advantages
show examples
above, one of the most
concering
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concerning
disadvantages is the
negitve
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negative
effect of the peers on each
others
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other
show examples
.
For example
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, Young youth might
encurage
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encourage
each other to
engag
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engage
in
harming
Replace the word
harmful
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actions ,
conducte
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conduct
crimes and
dosome
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do some
some
dengerse
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dangers
activeties
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activities
like
deiving
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driving
without
seatbelt
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a seatbelt
show examples
.
This
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colud
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could
be a
siginficant
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significant
threat
for
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to
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the
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apply
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society. 
To sum up
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, youth these days
often
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are often
show examples
influenced by
thier
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their
genrations
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generations
generation
in their actions and
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
.
However
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, I
belive
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believe
show examples
that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because young people may
postivliy
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positively
affect each other to expand
life
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their life
show examples
expermints
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experiments
, explore new things or gain good
habit
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habits
show examples
.

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grammar
Make sure your sentences are complete and clear. Use simple and correct grammar.
cohesion
Try to better connect your ideas using linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example'.
task achievement
Add more details and examples to explain your points better.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and stated your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You discussed both advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behavior
  • age group
  • peer pressure
  • distinct
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • motivate
  • excel
  • positive behaviors
  • substance abuse
  • bullying
  • risky activities
  • belonging
  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • low self-esteem
  • conform
  • individuality
  • personal growth
  • decision-making skills
  • situations
  • resist
  • healthy balance
  • personal development
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