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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the result of a questionnaire thet asked visitors to the parkway hotel how they rated the hotel's customer services. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010

The charts below show the result of a questionnaire thet asked visitors to the parkway hotel how they rated the hotel's customer services. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010
the demonstrated chart below highlights the consequence of
questionnaire
Correct article usage
the questionnaire
show examples
 that asked
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
visitors to the
parkway hotel
Correct your spelling
Parkway Hotel
show examples
 how they
appreciate
Wrong verb form
appreciated
show examples
 the hotel's customer services during both of 2005 and 2010 centuries. looking
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 structure, it is readily apparent that,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of customers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have very poor, poor and satisfactory evaluations toward customer services
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
prevailed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during 2005
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 excellent and good rates
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
excelled
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of individual centuries,
2005
Correct article usage
the 2005
show examples
 questionnaire
divulge
Wrong verb form
divulged
show examples
 that satisfactory votes are more preferred
however
Linking Words
 in 2010 clients were more likely to qualify the level of service good
according to
Linking Words
 2005 results satisfactory was at the top of the list in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of proportion of audience with
such
Linking Words
 choice at 45% closely followed by poor very poor and good with 21%, 15% and 14% respectively.
Least
Add an article
The least
show examples
 chosen option was excellent compared with
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010 the most perceived answer was good
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 39% followed by excellent and satisfactory votes with 28% and 17%
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the least proportion of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 chart is held by very poor selectors.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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