IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

We are living
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the technology era, and our
budget
Use synonyms
 management is quite involved in it and very important to take into account,
technology
Correct word choice
that technology
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us an easy way of making
money
Use synonyms
 transactions,
with
Correct word choice
and with
show examples
 the rise of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debit
Use synonyms
 or
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 they are becoming much popular in our daily life
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 all the advantages that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 with them, but not everything is great and functional about them, we are going to present some advantages and disadvantages of the use of nowadays plastic
money
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand we have benefits
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credit
Use synonyms
 and
debit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 being a really convenient and safe way
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make transactions, now we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need to carry
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
large amounts of cash or
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care of a mistake or wrong authorization for a movement in our accounts. Plastic
money
Use synonyms
 comes with financial apps or even the banks
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 us the chance
of keeping
Change preposition
to keep
show examples
 track of our
budget
Use synonyms
 and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending,
also
Linking Words
 thanks to digital tools and
cards
Use synonyms
 the global market is wide open to everyone with a
credit
Use synonyms
 or
debit
Use synonyms
 card so that commercial barrier is no longer there. Now
on the other hand
Linking Words
 some difficulties
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
can be presented to us as living users of his kind of payment method, it is not available to everybody,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 if we are in a less developed area, rural or without any access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 connection,
also
Linking Words
 during some general service malfunctioning, in that scenario would be impossible to make any type of transaction, leaving us only the cash as a paying resource. Another topic of concern could be our data privacy,
knowning
Correct your spelling
knowing
 that all our data is online and being administrated by others opens a lack of trust and security in the users and their own interests in keeping their
money
Use synonyms
 safe and their personal financial data
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 being stolen.
Credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 can absolutely lead us to overspending and accumulating debt
due to
Linking Words
high-interest
Correct your spelling
high interest
show examples
 rates if we cannot manage
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 conciusly and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 enough
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 something that could
also
Linking Words
 lead us to
consumism
Correct your spelling
consumption
 and unproperly use of our
budget
Use synonyms
.
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 new and popular
pay
Replace the word
payment
show examples
methos
Correct your spelling
method
 as
credit
Use synonyms
 and
debit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 has changed the way we make transactions, but it is very important to
ackowledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 that
this
Linking Words
paying
Replace the word
payment
show examples
 method
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not suitable for everyone taking
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 pros and cons into account and depending
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
 interests in your financial operations,
budget
Use synonyms
 management or privacy concerns you should double check before making a choice between keeping cash always with you, change and start using plastic
money
Use synonyms
 or both as differents ways of keeping track and control of your
money
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are clear, but try to split them into smaller paragraphs for better organization.
task achievement
Make sure each introduction point is fully developed in the body. For example, explain how digital tools are good for budgeting.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Perhaps mention a real-life situation about credit card safety or overspending.
task achievement
Your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, which is a good balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plastic money
  • Credit and debit cards
  • Banknotes
  • Coins
  • Transactions
  • Convenience
  • Security
  • Unauthorized transactions
  • Budget management
  • Financial apps
  • Acceptance
  • Global reach
  • Versatile
  • Dependence on technology
  • Technology malfunction
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data privacy
  • Data breaches
  • Overspending
  • Accumulating debt
  • High-interest rates
  • Fees
What to do next:
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