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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows percentages of young people choosing in three ways to solve the global warming in four different countries in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows percentages of young people choosing in three ways to solve the global warming in four different countries in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the graphic above illustrates the
rate
Use synonyms
 of adults choosing
in
Change preposition
apply
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3 factors to find solutions for global warming in 2008 from Portugal,
Poland
Use synonyms
, Romania, and
Holand
Correct your spelling
Holland
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Portugal was the majority
rate
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 factors,
while
Linking Words
,
Poland
Use synonyms
 was the minority. As can be seen, Portugal
was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
enrollments
Fix the agreement mistake
enrollment
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 for
prevent
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preventing
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 pollution in all activities,
Life style
Correct your spelling
Lifestyle
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, Government regulations and Advanced Technology accounting for nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, 40%, and 40%.
However
Linking Words
,
Poland
Use synonyms
 was the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
adult's
Change noun form
adult
show examples
 choices
acounting
Correct your spelling
accounting
 for over 20%,
actual
Change the word
actually
show examples
 30% and about 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were two factors which shared the same amount in choosing by four countries, Government regulations (40%,30%,20% and 10%) and Advanced technology ( 40%, 10%, 20% and 30% ). in conclusion, Portugal and Romania
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shared almost the same
rate
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 groups, yet
Poland
Use synonyms
 and Holand were wild
fluctuation
Change the noun form
fluctuations
show examples
 within all groups.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, poland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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