IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that every country plays a Crucial role in the
world
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the strongest nations should help the
weakens
Replace the word
weak
show examples
 countries that
also
Linking Words
 an argument that every country has a lot of problems and they have to focus on it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand
world
Use synonyms
 nations respond to many issues in the
world
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they have the power and money
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 army and they should help
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countrycountry
Correct your spelling
countries
 in various sectors.
in other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 should be safe because will all have a good life and
this
Linking Words
 will be a positive development.
for example
Linking Words
,
U.S.
Correct article usage
the U.S.
show examples
 helped Banama when they on war and did not have any food or medical care they provided them with all their needs. On another hand who argue believe when the government helps others they will forget their people and maybe will help others with money and their society will suffer it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say poor countries or any country
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
show examples
 help will rely on the stronger countries and not think to
trying
Change the verb form
try
show examples
 to help themselves or think about solutions.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps readers understand your stance better.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will help you show your understanding and strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling errors. Writing clearly and correctly is important for a good score.
task achievement
You have addressed both views which shows you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, giving a clear idea of what the essay will cover.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • economic stability
  • overcoming poverty
  • improving education
  • health crises
  • global interconnectedness
  • worldwide stability and prosperity
  • homelessness
  • unemployment
  • inequality
  • external assistance
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • collaborative approach
  • ethical responsibility
  • global welfare
  • domestic obligations
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