IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shop using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you thinkthis will be happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Nowadays, technology become very popular. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 our life very simple. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that, paying
cash
Use synonyms
 will
replaced
Add a missing verb
be replaced
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 by credit
cards
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 in the future. I completely agree with the idea that
,
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 will pay by
cards
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 or
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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instead
Linking Words
 of
cash
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they are more particular.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 technology
are
Change the verb form
is
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 available everywhere.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 are very easy to carry in the bag. Individuals can use it in any place. They did not need to take a huge number of money in their wallet. They
myabe
Correct your spelling
may be
 stolen from thieves and lose all their money.
Cards
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 and
phone
Use synonyms
 is more saver than
cash
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. Personally, I can not take more than 20 rails in my bag because I will
lost
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lose
be lost
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 them if I am in
harry
Capitalize word
Harry
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. Another reason is that
,
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apply
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 bank machines are used in all places even in small shops. I think
,
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apply
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people
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 do not need to take
cash
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 with
everywhere
Correct pronoun usage
them everywhere
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 but they should carry a small chase with them for simple needs like paying
food
Change preposition
for food
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 from
street
Add an article
the street
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 because they do not have machines. I believe that, in the
future
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future,
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 all
people
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 will prefer to use
card
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cards
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 because it is very easy.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
cash
Use synonyms
 become old fashion.
Every thing
Correct your spelling
Everything
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 around us changes. Many
people
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 are
pleasure
Replace the word
pleased
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 because they are not happy with paying by
cash
Use synonyms
. It
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
complex way. There are many simple methods around them
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
,
watch
Fix the agreement mistake
watches
show examples
 and
cards
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use more clear structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Use simpler sentences and correct grammar, like 'credit cards and phones are easier to carry.'
task achievement
Add more details or examples to explain why some people like using cash, such as their trust in it.
task achievement
You explained some good points about why cards and phones are better.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic, and it is good that you showed agreement with the use of cards and phones.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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