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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the average minutes of telephone calls in Australia (in billions), categorized by local, national & international, and mobile calls from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 the number of local calls in Australia experienced a fluctuation,
although
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 it remained the highest for the rest of the period. The national and international calls exhibited a slight increase;
on the other hand
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, mobile calls grew drastically in the
last
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 two years of the study.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, the number of local calls started at 72
billion
Use synonyms
 minutes, twice
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that of national and international calls. The figures for local calls continued to grow and peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 90
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2005;
however
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, they slowly declined in the following years, ending
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 72
billion
Use synonyms
. The national and international calls slightly increased every year, from 38
billion
Use synonyms
 to 61
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Moreover
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, mobile gadgets received the fewest calls for five consecutive years, until they dramatically rose to 23
billion
Use synonyms
 in the year of 2006, 39
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2007, and 46
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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