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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the types of communication training taken by employees in an international company and the reasons why they took part in this training. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the types of communication training taken by employees in an international company and the reasons why they took part in this training. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two chart graphs compare the preferences
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
varies
Replace the word
various
show examples
 types of communication training
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 in an international company and the
reasons
Use synonyms
 for participating in
such
Linking Words
 training.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the part-time training in the evening is the most attractive choice for most
employees
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the primary reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 attended was for business travel purposes. In these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of training,evening part-time training accounted for the largest proportion at 39%, followed closely by weekend part-time training and self-tuition, both at 22%. Intensive training made up 12%,
while
Linking Words
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
 learning was the least common method, chosen by only 5% of
employees
Use synonyms
. Regarding the
reasons
Use synonyms
 for participation, nearly half of the
employees
Use synonyms
 undertook communication training for business travel. The next most common
reasons
Use synonyms
 were holiday travel and personal interest,which were at 17% and 14%. Communication with clients motivated 10% of the participants,
while
Linking Words
 13% chose other unspecified
reasons
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, reasons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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