IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Medical care is a concern in many countries people owning to they have to pay for
this
Linking Words
 service,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is a group of individuals that perceive that it should be a free service provided by the government. From my perspective, I truly agree that the population need a free option, and my main reasons will be explained in the next essay.
First,
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considering that there are various countries,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 Spain and Cuba, which have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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top-level public medical care, do not sound insane to think
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
free alternative to
this
Linking Words
 service. In many places, people who do not have a good job or even with a high quantity of dependents, can not afford the bills for their treatments, medicine and clinical studies; the citizens deserve a good quality of life, and spend their time with dignity and joy.
Furthermore
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 having a healthy population can help in several ways the country,
as
Change preposition
for
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 example increasing the productivity of workers or students,
thus
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 producing a growth in the gross domestic product.
Also
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as a consequence
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 of a healthy population,not only they can focus on other subjects
such
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 as sports and cultural alternatives like dancing or painting but
also
Linking Words
 reducing significantly crime. Ultimately considering that the government agrees with
a
Remove the article
apply
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free assistance
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 deeply think that the benefits outweigh the expenses, and
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
there also
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 can be several backgrounds where
this
Linking Words
 alternative can be possible with the good use of taxes or the support of
partnership
Fix the agreement mistake
partnerships
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 from industries and the help of non lucreative institutions.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion. This helps clarify your view for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use clear linking words (like 'first', 'next', 'finally') to guide the reader through your points better.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. This can make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of healthy populations are relevant and meaningful, showing you understand the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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