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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

(Bar Chart) The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per da....... A

(Bar Chart) The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per da....... A
These bar charts illustrate the percentage of males and
females
Use synonyms
 in a specific country engaged in different kinds of housework.
Overall
Linking Words
, cooking and cleaning are the most commonly done home tasks in both genders.
However
Linking Words
, pet care and
repairing
Replace the word
repair
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage in these two bar charts. Cooking and cleaning
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the highest percentages in both charts. Around 85% of women
are making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 food
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an average time of an hour and a half,
however
Linking Words
, 60% of men tend to cook
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 one hour.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cleaning ranked the second task with approximately 60%
females
Use synonyms
. They spend almost 70 minutes on
this
Linking Words
 task,
whereas
Linking Words
 40% of males clean within more than half an hour.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, pet
caring
Replace the word
care
show examples
 and repairing of the house are the least in time and percentage. Approximately 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of women and men are caring for their pets within only 20 minutes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, house
repairing
Replace the word
repair
show examples
 is double in males compared to
females
Use synonyms
.
Females
Use synonyms
 spend less than 10 minutes on
this
Linking Words
 task.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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