IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is said that the fast pace of our everyday life, as a direct result of the rapid development of telecommunications technology and the travel industry, has negative effects on individuals, nations, and the globe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most
acitivitis
Correct your spelling
activities
 improved rather than before and
efficient
Replace the word
efficiency
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 is thought to be primary in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development. Especially, telecommunication and travel are needed to be rapid.
However
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, some argue that
this
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 kind of fashion
makes
Verb problem
has
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 a negative impact on individuals, nations, and the globe. I partly agree with
this
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 opinion. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the reasons why I think so. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 a social activity more active to become things and services fast.
For example
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, it helps to reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 to commute, if trains run faster. It is said approximately half of the
labor
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labour
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 spend over an hour
to go
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going
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 to the office.
Therefore
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, you need to wake up early in order to catch a train. If you can decrease the
time
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 getting on a train, you may be able to work or sleep longer. It is
benefit
Add an article
a benefit
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 for
people
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's health and companies profits. On the
oher
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, to rush to live in daily life, leading to
people
Use synonyms
 not
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 able to wait.
For instance
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, one individual sent a message to his
frind
Correct your spelling
friend
 and waited for his return.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 his friend had something to do and could not return a message to him.
As a result
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, he wasted
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
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waiting
and
Correct word choice
which
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 made him angry. Like
this
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, communication with
people
Use synonyms
 using a chat app
such
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 as Line and Snapchat force
people
Use synonyms
 to return
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
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 as soon as possible. In conclusion, developing technology and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 everything fast is a benefit for
people
Use synonyms
 to work and live efficiently.
However
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, it forces
people
Use synonyms
 to rush to live and they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to live slowly.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to expand your examples with more details to strengthen your ideas.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs have a reasonable structure, which helps in understanding your points.
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