Some people believe that in present times, women do get as much equality at work as men, while others believe that even today women have to fight their way to succeed at work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently,
women
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
getting to have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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equal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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as
men
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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some argue that even today they are not hired
as
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
and
blocked
Add a missing verb
are blocked
show examples
to succeed
Change preposition
from succeeding
show examples
in working. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, most countries are getting to hire
Add an article
a woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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as
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Change the article
the
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highest
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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such
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as
prime
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a prime
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minister.
For example
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, May has become
a
Correct article usage
the
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first ever
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first-ever
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woman prime minister in the UK. They sometimes have
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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from
men
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, which leads to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more active
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
show examples
and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to their countries
to
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apply
show examples
develop
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development
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.
Moreover
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, general
companies
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also
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try to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
women
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as CEO. Like
this
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,
women
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become more important in the government or
companies
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than before.
However
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, in Japan, there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
women
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in
a
Correct article usage
the
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parliament rather than
other
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in other
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European
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Additionally
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, it is a challenge for
women
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to work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pregnant. Once you get a long holiday for a new baby
born
Verb problem
apply
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, it takes about half a year, which makes it difficult to get back to their job.
Therefore
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,
husband
Correct article usage
the husband
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need
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needs
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to take care of his wife and spend more time
to support
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supporting
show examples
her.
However
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, it is difficult for
men
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to take a holiday for their children to grow up.
Therefore
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,
companies
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have to make a regulation that
men
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can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take holidays for their housekeeping. In conclusion,
women
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gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
more
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
and have become to work
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
an important position.
However
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, the regulation in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a company
companies
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not catch up with the recent situation, especially for
men
Use synonyms
to take holidays.

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task achievement
Make sure to have clear and relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on improving your sentence structure for better flow. Ensure your ideas connect smoothly to each other.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles, which can affect clarity.
task achievement
You have chosen a relevant topic and presented two sides of the argument, which is an important part of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by stating both views clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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